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April 2017

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A (late) happy birthday wish to phizzbin! He's definitely one of the most interesting people to join my flist, a challenge to my mind and sometimes my tolerance in the best of ways.

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*laugh* I second all of that! :D

Happy Belated Birthday, Phizz! :D
Thanks for the birthday greetings!

We had a quiet but musical day, and grilled hamburgers and hotdogs in the evening. I also had a big, stinky cigar -- my birthday is the one day of the year when the wife unit will let me smoke.

In eight more years I will be in my sixties, so I'm gradually growing old I guess. Not too many health problems yet -- just the typical Irish over-fondness for good drink I suppose.

Hope all is well with you! Peace. phizzbin
Can I third it? I love you, husband!

Yoda I am. Take you upstairs and boff you now I must. mmmm... it's a date
Date me, you must. The force is strong within you....

(Should we really be flirting all over dragonfare's lj posts? Ah, well, maybe she'll understand...)

Flirt with you, I must....
I am a Sith and shall find some way to use all this indiscriminate flirting against you... I must have my revenge, because no one is flirting with *me*.
hello dragonfare --

thank you for the birthday wishes.

hmmm. let's think of something provocative to say now -- something that will piss all the women off....

I KNOW!!! Trying to reason with a woman is like trying to reason with a donkey.

OK. C'mon baby, make it hurt so good...

Pest fishes -- phizzbin
Only a man would attempt to reason with a donkey. Similar minds, perhaps?

Pest fishes to you, too!

OUCH!!

Actually, this came from a professor of philosophy who I was talking to in a bar-- and he was extremely drunk at the time--upset and feeling sorry for himself because his wife of several years had come home and announced she was a lesbian. We were discussing the battle of the sexes, and he went into a pity-pot diatribe and reasoned as follows --or something like it.

"I used to be upset because women were so damned irrational. Then I realized that I was the one being illogical, because I was upset that women were irrational. I wouldn't be angry with a donkey for being unable to fly. It's a DONKEY. It's not EQUIPPED to fly. A woman wouldn't be upset with me for being unable to get pregnant. I'm a MAN. I'm not EQUIPPED to get pregnant. Along the same line: it's pointless to be upset with a woman for being unable to reason. She's a WOMAN. She's not EQUIPPED to reason."

It should please you to know that I told him that the most intelligent person I'd ever met was a woman: Dr. Katherine Buell--professor of Biology at Doane College (Nebraska -- retired in 1979) -- the "Pre Med" majors lived in absolute terror of her -- her intelligence was absolutely frightening, and she knew it, and enjoyed it immensely.

And then I told him that if I were a woman, and married to a man with an attitude like his, I'd become a #&%(^#* lesbian, too.

He punched me in the nose, and I punched him back -- and we both got thrown out of the bar -- EL TORO'S BAR & GRILL in Crete, NE. This was about 1981. Since he was a professor in Omaha, it made the paper. I thought about pressing charges, but figured the guy was in enough trouble.

Not much of a philosopher, was he? If I'd been sober at the time, I simply would have suggested that men usually don't understand women -- but that was OK -- because I had five sisters -- and had learned early on that women are not irrational -- simply very, very complex -- and they often don't really understand themselves.

But when all is said and done, that is at least half of their charm, and makes them eternally fascinating --if confusing at times -- to us simpler, less ethereal men.

Peace. phizzbin

Re: OUCH!!

I laughed at this till I fell off the chair....!

You saved yourself you know -- I was gonna say "PMS -- Putting up with Men's Stupidity" in response....

(Oops, I just did! ;D )

Re: OUCH!!

Well, darn it. Just when I'm gearing up to get all contentious and have fun with you, you come up with something like that.

You're amazing. Too bad you're married. Even worse that you're married to someone I LIKE. No, actually, that's better.

Re: OUCH!!

I'm married. Yup.
But since you can't be my wife -- will you at least be my pleasure slave?
There. Now I AM flirting with you.
And GOD you are FREAKING INTELLIGENT. A true master of repartee -- I believe that's the word, though I may have spelled it wrong, and the dictionary is downstairs, and the FORCE does not seem to be working today. I am a master of absolutely awful puns -- the kind that make you groan and throw heavy objects at someone. So we could have a lot of fun...
Do you have nice buns? They don't have to be perfect-- I'm 52 and not young anymore either, and even though I've lost weight this year I still have a bit of a beer belly. And if you have varicose veins or whatever, fine, nobody stays 18 forever. Aging women rule. Whatever they may lose in physical youthful beauty they more than make up for in life experience, conversational ability, wisdom and often cooking skills. A 21 year old woman may look appealing. But my God: have you ever tried TALKING to one? Give me an older gal with a bit of flab around her waist -- greying hair -- crow's feet around her eyes-- laugh lines around her mouth-- and maybe sagging boobies or whatever. I'll take that over mindless youthfulness any day. But she has to know how to make a proper cup of tea.
Do you like a comfortable bed? Or a nice sleeping bag way off in the middle of nowhere?
OK, now I'd better behave myself. Don't say nobody has flirted with you... When starwefter throws me out of the house for this, I'll move to Texas.

Have you heard of the famous Knight from the Middle Ages, who could jump over sixteen castles at once, on horseback, dressed in full armor?

Medieval Knieval.

Peace. phizzbin

Re: OUCH!!

I've always wanted to be a pleasure slave. I think I could be good at it. Especially when not only my sexual skills but my intelligence are appreciated.

Repartee is correct, as far as I know. If we both think that's it, it must be correct.

Make awful puns, and I WILL throw heavy objects. Seriously heavy ones - I'm strong for my size.

Now, as for my qualifications for being a pleasure slave: I have great buns. I'm strong and very flexible. I'm a natural blonde - sorry, no raven locks - and I love to dance in the nude to almost any kind of music, letting my long golden curls fly about my shoulders. The grey in my hair is a silvery frost. My breasts are small and perky, and I have no stretch marks. I have laugh lines around my eyes, but few other wrinkles. I make a perfect pot of tea. I like comfortable beds, couches, floors (carpeted or hardwood), sleeping bags, walls, bathroom sinks, kitchen counters, tables, grass, bleachers... pretty much anything except sand. I like the middle of nowhere, and locked bedrooms in the middle of a party.

About 1/3 of that is true.... But isn't it a nice picture for you to hold in your mind while we flirt online? Just don't move to Texas. You'd be disappointed - for about 5 minutes, until Starwefter caught up with us and killed us both.

Medieval Kneival... *throws fully armored knight at phizzbin* I won't throw the horse. I like horses.

Edited at 2009-11-15 09:05 pm (UTC)

Re: OUCH!!

Now, that's my kind of gal. I'm not going to feel at all bad or guilty about flirting with you online, since Starwefter twitters with everybody and their brother until like 2am or 3am almost every night, and I no longer have a woman in my marriage bed...
There's some gay guy named "Dartz" who she is on with constantly each night, and it is becoming rather annoying. I'm, like, a SCORPIO, and I need to get LAID regularly, you know what I mean? So a pleasant flirtation perhaps will be the next best thing...
Don't worry if only 1/3 or so of your description there was true. I'm in my fifties now, and if you are one of these older gals who drools over Seto Kaiba, I guess you'd be disappointed with me, too...
I have a beer belly -- smaller than it was a year ago by about five or six inches -- and I am going pretty bald these days...
Anyway, perhaps we can have a pleasant flirtation? Welcome to my harem, pleasure slave. So far, you are the only one in it...

Peace. phizzbin

P.S. I don't like sand, either. But I do like the altars of churches at midnight. Kinky, eh?

Re: OUCH!!

Altars are fun. Midnight is great. Bring some wine.

By the way, I'm great with my tongue. Oh, and that means in conversation, too!

I don't drool over Seto. I drool over Spike. And Hiko, who's in his 40s!

We'll just have to work on that beer belly. We'll drink beer together so we both have one! And as for balding, another guy who makes me drool is Bruce Willis, so think no more upon it.

Now, let me get my vestal robes, and I'll meet you at the altar of your choice. (One caveat - no altars used for animal or human sacrifice is acceptable.)