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whatever happens

April 2017

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I did make an attempt to get to some kind of normal place where I wanted to be, but real-life has temporarily defeated me. These are the things I want to do:

#1 - Pay more attention to my friends and family

The rest, in no particular order ~
* Finish editing and publish my completed stories
* Finish my uncompleted stories
* Establish a regular writing routine
* Keep this journal up to date
* Do something with the blogs on my two author websites

I don't think those are huge ambitions. However, my life as a caretaker is unabated, which means that the only "me" time I get is a few hours every other Saturday. I could carve out some writing time every day, but creativity gets crushed easily when life is pressing you down.

I sometimes think it's karma. I've spent most of my life avoiding any unnecessary responsibility, thereby retaining as much freedom and me-time as I could, two things which are hugely important to my peace of mind. Now I find myself with enormous responsibilities both at home and at work. Sometimes I feel good about it, like I can handle it and ain't I just cool being able to cope with it all, being so important to everyone? But at other times I feel like I'm being crushed, like I'm in one of those machines that compresses a car into a cube. Most of the time I just feel tired and at the end of my rope.

Well... life sucks and then you die, as the saying goes. I just hope that I don't die before I retire. Retirement is my reward for all these years of working and for this year of slaving. I deserve it. I'd better get it. And it had better be good.

I am hoping that in a few months I can look back on this post and say to myself, "Damn, you sure were feeling whiny back then, weren't you?"

Comments

Hang in there. You'll make it through. And you're not whining - whining is only applicable to trivial stuff. This is major stress.

You're still my favorite sister WOW. ^_~

*massive hugs*